Anger

"Holding on to anger and hatred is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" 

Anger feels like all I've been holding on to lately.

Anger at the small-mindedness of other individuals.

Anger at the selfishness displayed by the ones dearest to me.

Anger at the actions of strangers.

Anger at myself for letting myself be affected by the actions of others.

Lately it's been a daily struggle, trying to keep myself afloat and not sink down to what feels like their level. I would like to say that I've won the struggle and am a better person than those I've mentioned, but the truth is I'm not.

It's a vicious cycle the way I see it. The person you would drop everything to save, wouldn't do the same for you. Or maybe I've just been keeping the wrong company and have been too blind to see it.
I'm a stranger to majority, an acquaintance to some, a villain to others, a shoulder to cry on for those that need me, a booty call to a few, a friend to those who happen to pass by, and a loved one to my family.
With each new connection made, my heart expands a little bigger. With each connection broken, my heart bleeds a little more and turns a little darker.

As of late, I've been so caught up in my anger and sadness, that the world has moved on without me. I would very much like to give in now. Yet I sit at the sickbed of my grandmother and tell her not to give up, feeling like the worst hypocrite.

This post does not make sense and so do my thoughts. But I know I no longer wish to be affected by other individuals, I have held on to this poison for too long. I would like to end it all.